Dr. Phil, The Moment of Truth and the American People

Over the past few days, I have had the opportunity to watch abit of TV. Normailly, I watch movies because there isn’t really anything on TV these days. But I flipped on the television this afternoon and Dr Phil was on this afternoon. In this episode was a 9 year old who poisoned his step mother and 3 siblings, and was proud of himself. Tonight I turn on the TV to just veg out abit while I wait for a few things to go down and I flip to The Moment of Truth. This is a show where people take lie detector test to win money. This one featured a woman who was asked if she had ever thought about leaving her husband because he doesn’t make alot of money. I turned if off before I found out… The same goes for reality shows. I mean, honestly, why do people get such a kick out watching people crumble and break in high stress situations?

What is it with America (and the world for that matter) and wanting to dig up dirt, get all the secrets, watch people who are horribly broken. I don’t even want to know what ratings that Dr. Phil gets these days. But I can imagine that it is pretty high. Why do we love seeing these things. Sure, sometimes there are great things that happen through that, but seriously? What compells a person to want to get on Dr. Phil to deal with their problems. Isn’t the situation hard enough without having the entire nation seeing it all? Does it make the public feel better that their lives can’t possibly be as screwed up as these people?

It boggles my mind. It really does. The world is going to hell in a handbasket these days (just look at everything going on in the world) and instead of dealing with the things that need to be dealt with (world hunger, social justice, unreached people groups and nations, persecuted church) we sit down in front of the TV and entertain ourselves to death.

America is spiritually and emotionaly obese. All we want is input; we never want to give. If a church doesn’t meet our needs, we leave. “Their worship wasn’t exciting enough.” “I didn’t really feel God.” “The pastor’s message didn’t make me feel good. In fact, he told me I needed to read more Scripture.” If a relationship doesn’t fill our needs, we end it. “He can’t afford to buy me what I want.” “He is always asking for my advice and never gives me anything in return.”

America has lost sight of God’s calling, to fulfill the Abrahamic Covenant.

/rant

Been abit of a rough day today. I am really, really not happy with the way my fundraising has been going. With the problems in Brighton making life really intresting, I made some phone calls hoping that this would prove to be the break I have been waiting for. Turns out it is, and it has made things harder. Now I need to raise at least another $70 per month, $820 total. $70 per month doesn’t like much, and sure it doesn’t. But I have been sitting at $420 for the last month or so. And before that I was at $360 for close to 2 months…

I could quote you the classic, “God can provide.” I know He can, He has before. He gave me like $1000 in less then 2 weeks last year, but at this point I am starting to ask myself why it isn’t coming in. I don’t know why, but for today, I have lost all motivation to do anything to raise funds. I got some paperwork done and such, so it wasn’t a wasted day. But I am so sick of this and I have no idea how to make things work.

Fear of Prayer

I have been teaching the high school sunday school class for about a year now and something I have had serious issues with is students not wanting to pray. I start a morning out by asking for someone to pray and I eventually have to call on someone to do it. It usually consists of thanking God for the morning and asking that the morning will go well. At the end of class, I again ask someone to pray to close us. Again, I usually have to call on a student. Again, it is sort of this rehearsed prayer. I did a series on pray to see if I could confront this issue in an indirect way and it doesn’t seem to have helped. 

I was in church yesterday and we had a guest speaker come in to give the sermon. He is the principle at a local public high school. He was talking about how he walks out his faith in a place where you cannot talk about Jesus. He was telling some stories of when he had been looking for opportunities to talk about Jesus. One was actually quite funny. Two students came in to his office with a disagreement or discipline issue, I can’t remember which. Neither was telling the truth. He looked down and noticed that one of the students was wearing a WWJD bracelet. He turned to her and ask her what Jesus would do and it was resolved.

But that is not the point. After he finished talking about how life is for him as a Christian and principle, the church took an opportunity to pray for him and his wife. So we got them up front and just did an open call to anyone that wanted to come down and pray for them, as we usually do.

Not a single student from that school went down to pray for him…

I am so confused by this. Here is the leader of a school trying to walk out his faith as best he can in what I would call a hostile enviroment and none of the students will walk 25 feet to stand in prayer for him.

Do students think that standing around a flagpole once a year fullfills their God given responsibilty to pray? Do students think that prayer is not necessary? Why is it that it is so easy for students to sit in a classroom and say all the right answers and go to school and do all the wrong things? Why is it that when asked to pray honestly students just lock up?

Why do we seem so afraid of prayer?

Consume

For the past few months God has been talking to me every now and then about being consumed. I have decided to just do some processing in this blog post about just some thoughts that I have been recieving and some Scripture. I invite you to go on this journey with me. It is a journey, I have not done any of the normal study/research I would usually do before doing a post of this nature…

I have been thinking about how our God is a consuming fire (Hebrews 12:29, ref: Deut. 15:24). Everytime I have read the Hebrews Scripture, it stands out to me, I don’t know why. But for some reason it does. I think back and remember some things that God was speaking to me in the past about, Elijiah. I remember God speaking to be about Elijiah and there are times in my life that I very much identify with Elijiah, especially when the queen came after him. But I think back to 1 Kings 18 where Elijiah invites the prophets of Baal and Asherah to a duel of fates, as I like to call it. A two on one, winner take all brawl, basically. We all learned the story in Sunday school as kids (pfft) and it climaxes in verse 38. I want to quote the King James version because a) that is the version I read this story in first and b) because it illustrates what I am talking about better then NIV.

It says, “Then the fire of the LORD fell, and consumed the burnt sacrifice, and the wood, and the stones, and the dust, and licked up the water that was in the trench.” (1 Kings 15:38)

That is so intense. I cannot help but connect this section of Scripture with something Paul writes about in his letter to the church in Rome. Chapter 12 of that letter talks about how we are to offer ourselves as living sacrifices. Again, I cannot help but put the 2 together and see myself on that alter in 1 Kings, God’s fire falling on me. What does this mean? I am not all together sure, yet. But maybe as I process in writing I will come up with something that sits well with my spirit.

Switching gears, one of my friend’s favorite worship tracks is “Fire Fall Down” by Hillsong. It is quickly turning into a favorite of mine as well (“Inside out” by Hillsong and a track by Taylor Sorensen called “Gloria 34″ are still ahead). It is, at its core, a cry out to God for His fire to fall, and therefore to consume us. I often think when we sing this song in youth group or other groups if people really understand what it means to be consumed. I really think that there are two parts to it. There is refinement and there is the actual and literal consumption of our lives.

The first part, refinement, is something that I am very passionate about. It is the core of what I want for me life. I want to be refined. But it comes at a price, just like everything else. The only way to be refined is to be in the fire. This fire is different for different people. For me it was, for a long time, living at home and dealing with all the things that came with living with my family. It was dealing with a lot of wounds and hurts. Refinement strips you down to the bare minimum. It allows for only the essentials to be in your life. It is hard and especially painful. Things are being burned off, after all.

Consumption is slightly different, yet connected. I have to be VERY careful how I word the thought process that is going on in my brain right now. This is one of those things that people don’t like to hear. I can pretty much assure you that this is going to come out wrong. So I am just going to say it. The definition of consume is pretty well know, to use up (basically).

After doing some thinking, I am not sure I like where my thought process is going. It is very possible that it is contrary to the consistant nature of God. I want to do some more thinking and praying about it…

Empowerment of the Spirit

So I was at the Mix’s fall retreat this weekend. The theme was Seek. I am going to be honest, what better theme then that. To be honest, I have been wanting to teach since I got back to the States in June and I have been a bit bummed since I have not really be able to teach much, aside from Sunday School.

I was at the retreat and Jim was teaching the morning session on Saturday. It was on the things that keep us from seeking God with all our hearts. He started out the session with an exercise. He split the students up by room and then tied up and/or blindfolded the rooms. I then took the teams out into a low ropes course and had the room adults lead them through it. These things represented different things that held them back. The ties represent relationships and, depending on where they were tied, it was either good or bad. We had some tied at the wrists, some by their ankles, some were tied back to back and one group was actually tied by their wrists in a circle as well as blindfolded.

About half way through the course, Daniel runs up to be and says that something has just happened and that Jim will not be able to teach and debrief with the group. Daniel has a single page of notes, front and back, and we have to teach. I grab the notes, tell him to run and find Jesse to let him know as well. I read through the notes, get an idea of whats going on and I went into the woods and started praying my heart out. Daniel and Jesse are awesome guys, but Daniel isn’t much of a teacher and I wasn’t sure if Jesse would be able to really get the idea across that Jim and I had talked about before. I also just felt at “peace” with taking up the challenge. I was uneasy and nervious because I had no preparation time, but I was sure that I should deal with it. I got my guys together and asked Daniel to just debried what happened quickly and asked Jesse to just discuss what some of the things meant and such. I was going to take up the challenge section.

We debriefed shortly and Jesse talked a bit, can’t really remember what it was. I was way too nervious and was still trying to figure out some stuff. Jesse finished up what he was saying and I grabbed my Bible, went up and read Hebrews 12:1-2. After I read this Scripture, Jesus started speaking. Honestly, I remember about 2 things I said. I talked about how one of the things in my life that was holding me back was gaming. I tied a road to an alter and then my my wrist and showed them how it matter what I did, as long as I was involved in gaming, I would not be able to kneel at the cross. I also shared about how relationships will sometimes, if not most of the time, will hold people back from seeking God with all their hearts.

I was finishing up and felt God just asking me to send them off for a few minutes to seek out what was holding them back. I took that opportunity to just figure out what just happened. God moved through me in ways He never has before. I have never spoken that well before. I did not stutter. I did not hold back. I did not get mixed up. It was incredibly intense. I mean it, I have never had God pour through me in such an intense way. I walked over to Jim, who had just come up, and Chaille and was just blown away. I was in shock. I really was. I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know what to do next. The only time this has happened to me before this was when Kateen showed up during debrief week.

I was so blown away. I firmly believe that God was speaking some conviction directly to a few students. I am not sure who, although I have some ideas.

The middle of the River

So I had a bit of a rough weekend. Nothing happened that was really to blame, but the weekend combined with a mildly annoying Monday (sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays…). I decided early in the day that I needed some time to myself and God. Ever since Dan spoke on my DTS about hanging out with God, I have wanted to come to a place where I can set aside a few hours each week to just hang out with God. This was around May, and until this Monday I have not done that.

After a few hours at work, I decided I had to get out. So I got off work and went home and got some food, and then grabbed my climbing gear. I threw on some swimming trucks and my sunglasses and jumped in the car. I hit the road and drove across the river and down to a little area on the James called Pony Pastures. Its a section of “rapids” on the James and just happens to have a 15 foot granite wall, perfect for climbing. I got all my gear in my bag and set out down the path next to the river. Just a walk before going climbing. I was just hanging out with God. I found a place where I could get out onto the river where there are large rocks. These rocks are large enough and close enough for you to get out into the middle of the river. There was a fair amount of people there, but I just went out.

I sat on a rock and just hung out. I had the idea, I should go ahead and read some Scriptures. I pulled my backpack off and realized I hadn’t put my Bible in my bag. So then I figure, “Well, I will just go ahead and journal a little bit.” I take a look in my bag for a notebook, but it was not there. In that moment I heard Jesus just telling me, “Just chill. Just hang out.”

In the moment I got a glimpse of what it means to truely hang out with God. I was just hanging out, not praying or speaking with God. Just hanging out. When I got home, I felt more refreshed then I had for a long time.

When will the time come?

I am sitting here, listing to music and wondering what is going on… I always thought patience was not something that I needed to work on. But I guess I was wrong. Life just seems to dull. It has been nearly 2 months since I was supposed to arrive in Brighton to begin work in the dance clubs there. I was not able to due to a lack of funds and now my visa didn’t go through. I am sitting here, working day in and day out, really doing nothing.

God, when will the time come when I will get on a plane and get out of here. I know there are so many things for me in Brighton…

But again, You remind me of the things here. The work that must be done. It is a work that is designed to refine my heart. It is a work that must be done to prepare me for the work ahead…

Being men of Faith

Whenever I hear a sermon or teaching about faith and being a people of faith, I always get a wierd feeling in the pit of my stomache. I wasn’t sure why for a long time and a little while ago, God gave me the first piece of the puzzle to figuring out why.

So often we are taught that we need to have the faith to “move mountains”. We say if we had just a little bit of faith, we could move the mountains. We are always told that we need to have more and more faith, that we need to step up our faith. I am not saying this is a bad thing, but the underlining attitude often is this faith that will heal people or whatever is the only thing that matters. We need to step up our faith so that people can be healed of greater illnesses. I don’t think this is what God intended for us. The New Testament makes it pretty clear that we have nothing to do with any healing or miraculous movement of God. So what is this lifestyle of faith really about?

I want to equate faith with trust, which is a valid thing to do since they are synonyms. So really it is my trust, my trust in God that being a man of faith is about. My faith, my trust, is what allows me to do the things God asks me to do. It isn’t what allows me to heal people or raise large amounts of money. It is about doing what God is asking, even when it sounds crazy.

But how do we build this faith? How do I become a man of more faith, more trust? By living a lifestyle of faithfulness. We strengthen our faith by living a lifestyle of faithfulness. I’m not really sure what that looks like or how it works, but I really feel that that is what God is telling me right now. That I need to build my faith by living a life of faithfulness.

I am still working out how these 2 things are interconnected and how one builds the other., but I challenge you to live a lifestyle of faithfulness.  I challenge myself to live a lifestyle of faithfulness.

What is wrong with this quote?

I was watching a movie called The Pathfinder the other day with my friend and I saw something I really thought I would never see. I want to quote the 2 main characters.

Starfire: “There are two wolves fighting in each man’s heart. One is love; the other is hate.”
Ghost: “Which one wins?”
Starfire: “The one you feed the most.”

Now normally, I would say this is a perfectly acceptable line. But check out what happens next. About 10 seconds later, the guy kisses the girl. By this time I am starting to get a little wierded out. Next scene, they have having sex. Can’t say I’m suprised. But it disturbs me how he decides that the best way to feed love is to have sex… No wonder this generation has no idea how to love or be loved. No wonder we trade true intimacy in relationships, both with God and with others (opposite gender or now) with cheap sex that is so fake. The media, with some help from Satan I’m sure, shoves this idea that love is only shown by having sex with them. What happened to true intimacy? What happened to sharing life with those that love you, not simpy giving yourself to someone with “I love you” as the only committment.  It is a sad state of affairs…

So bored…So frustrated

So I’m just sitting here on my new laptop, chilling while I upload all my music. Pretty boring… Anyway, The Mix officially started last night. Was a good time, really was. I talked with Dave afterward about how I could help out and he’s got a few things lined up for me, which is sweet. I’m getting so bored these days. I just feel like I’m just not doing anything. I want to start teaching more. It is abit frustrating at times. Joel wants me back, pretty much now. I don’t know if he’ll will understand that I just don’t have the monthly support just yet. It is just frustrating.

God, I don’t understand what You have planned, but I trust in you.